The Sanctuary

3-5-07

So, I didn’t get a whole lot of work done last week. I did however, write a new song, clean the house, and went to the eye doctor. Now that I think about it, those are some pretty good things to have done. What I meant was: I didn’t get any CNE Graphics work done (my web development and graphic design company). I didn’t exercise either, and that made the week feel a little lazy. So, all that to say: I felt like I slacked off a little all week long.

So, Thursday, I worked on my website updates for my music site and did some online marketing stuff. Then, all day Friday, I spent working on my CNE Graphics site. I got a lot accomplished and I worked until 2:30 in the morning Saturday. That isn’t bad, considering I normally work until 4 or 5 in the morning. So, as a reward for a hard day’s work and starving myself, I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I sat on the couch and watched TV for 30 minutes, and then decided that I should exercise (I was feeling a little guilty for eating so late, and not exercising all week).

Normally, I’ll get through a warm up, cardio, strength training, and cool down. However, since it was 4 in the morning, I didn’t make it through the strength training. I put my weights down and sat down on the floor, because my muscles were shot. I was beginning to realize that I overworked myself. Then, I began to try to tell myself that I felt okay and trying to breath and cool down. However, I was well on my way to passing out.

I started to feel nausious and thought I could make it to the bathroom. I stood up and that is when the room started spinning. No one was home, so I started to get a little scared of what might happen. I tried walking, but only with the help of the Lord, and the surrounding furniture and walls to hold me up. I stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, my hearing went out and I began to black out a little. That scared me, because I’ve never blacked out before. Then, I felt very nauseous and started to throw up -a lot. It was the most horrible feeling in my life.

Really, it was only by the grace of God that I didn’t pass out or hit my head or something. It was pretty bad.

I felt better after I got all that out of my system. Then, I got cleaned up and went to bed. When I woke up, I was thankful that all of the pain had passed, and I was still alive. I did wonder how God might use this situation teach me something spiritual. So, I thought about it a while, and did have a revalation of some sort.

Exercise is good for you. It keeps your body in good shape and helps you maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, when it is abused, done at the wrong time, or in the wrong fashion, it can have devastating consequences. That can be applied in all areas of life. God has created many things that are good and pleasing to him, things that glorify him. However, if we choose to take matters into our own hands and do them on our time instead of His time, we can find ourselves dealing with very regretable consequences. I’ve always heard, “wait on God’s timing,” but it has never made such an impact as it does now.

So, do those things that are right and good in the sight of God, and be careful to do them at the right time: God’s time.

3-1-07

I love roller coasters. The way my stomach jumps on the way down…that’s the best! It’s always slow and quiet on the way up, and then the thrill comes just over the peak. It isn’t that way in “real life” though. In my life, I always enjoy the ascent to the top and dread the descent. I’ve noticed an uneasy trend in my musical life: I get really excited up until the show, and then afterward, I’m really depressed.

It is somewhat of a tiredness mixed with a “what next” type of mentality. So, sometimes I wake up in the morning and curse myself for being so lazy and at the same time encourage myself that I can only take it one day at a time. I’ve been wanting to write some more songs, but for some reason I’m in a rut. Hopefully, I’ll get out of it soon.

Well, hopefully my next post will be a little more light-hearted. Until then, be blessed. MS

2-6-07

Wow. I’m am just so excited about what is happening with these CD’s. lol. It just hit me today: The music CD has replaced the tract. And doesn’t it make sense? I mean, this age of technology and media has quickly become THE means of communication to our culture. So, it has been a blessing for me to hear all of the stories of how this CD is being used as a ministry tool. People are buying the CD’s and giving them to co-workers, friends, and family. Then, these people are being ministered to and giving them to others, and requesting more CD’s. Of course a CD is a little more expensive than a tract, but look at the good it is doing. How many people in today’s society will actually read a tract -even if they do take it from you? In contrast, how many people will listen to a song?

Now, I’m not knockin’ the tract. It has its uses, and when combined with the Holy Spirit, it can be even more powerful at sharing the gospel than anything else. I am not anti-tract. I am just saying that I can see how today’s society will embrace music more than they will embrace a paper booklet. Ultimately, either way, if they do embrace anything, we want it to be Jesus.

So, continue to pray for those that will hear the gospel in my music, and will read it in the liner notes, and will see it in my face when I am singing, and in my life when I am living. Continue to pray for me and my band mates, Chris, and Adam. This IS a spiritual battle, and Satan is ready to attack at every corner. Pray that we will be ready with a shield of faith that will protect us from the fiery darts!

Thank you for everyone who has supported my ministry with prayers, words of affirmation, gifts of love, donations, and purchases. You are all a blessing. Thank you for serving God with me in this way!

1-29-07

So, I’m back from Texas! Things went well. We did two shows: Eurotazza Cafe and the Smith Center at SWBTS. Jacki got us these SWEEEET Suites! The gas prices in Texas are a lot cheaper than here on the coast. So, that was nice. Everyone had a great time -as far as I know. Although we only sold 3 CD’s, we were able to get out there and play for people, and learn from it. I was specifically encouraged by the people that I was able to meet while I was out there: Richard, the sound guy, Sarah, the Eurotazza girl, the girl at the library, and the Vietnamese people. I met several others, but names are not my forte.

So, thanks to everyone who prayed and supported. We appreciate it. Big ups to my dad and Chris for driving us all the way there and back! What would I have done without them? Thank you.

12-21-06

Hmmm…does the title of this entry have a double meaning?

Well, I hope that everyone has a wonderul and blessed Christmas. I can’t imagine what it will be like when He does return, but I am certainly glad that he was born to save me. It’s always a toss up for me at Christmas time. I will have an unusually depressing Christmas or an unusually joyful one. I’m happy to report that this year has been a great triumph. I’ve experienced a lot of growth and revival. I think it has a lot to do with knowing that I am getting closer to the person God wants me to be. That’s a praise.

So, you’ve waited 6 months for this CD to come out. I just got the last song tonight! Yea. That means it is definitely crunch time. I’ve got 8 days to place my order by the end of the year. The 29th is my deadline. 2007 is right around the corner. I know that we wanted to release by the end of 2006, but I know this is all part of God’s plan. Even the number 7 reminds me of God’s divinity and perfection. What a blessing.

Well, check out the website. I’ve added an online store for ordering CD’s. I’ve also added new music on the ‘music’ page. I think I changed the settings on this blog too -so that you can make comments and see them right away. I think that is what I did. The CD’s won’t be available until January, but you can order it in advance, if you would like, and I will ship them out as soon as I get them.

Thanks for reading, and have a Joyful Christmas and a Blessed New Year! With His Love, Mary

11-30-06

That’s a quote from Eowyn in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. She has just slayed the Nazgul and is confronting the wizard King that “no man can kill.” She proudly takes off her helmet, lets down her hair and cries, “I am no man!” as she thrusts her sword into her enemy.

Wow. I love that.

In the past few months, God has taught me many things. I really feel like he is showing me who I’ve been designed to be. He has shown me my strength as a woman, a warrior princess of God. That’s cool. He’s also shown me that vulnerability can be a strength in itself.

I’ve experienced many spiritual attacks lately, and spiritual warfare has certainly been more apparent in my everyday life since I’ve been pursuing this ministry. God has definitely prepared me for these attacks, and I am so thankful for that. I wonder how I would have made it through, if at all, if He hadn’t whispered truths to me before the battle began.

I remember the first time I saw Return of the King. I was so thrilled and inspired at Eowyn as she stood there with courage before her enemy and knew who she was. She was a woman, she was a warrior, she was beautiful. I pray that I will have as much courage to defeat the enemy when he attacks.

Okay, enough of my ramblings. About the CD. I don’t think it will be coming out before Christmas. I’m almost sure of it, actually. Remember those attacks I mentioned? Well, the producer’s computer system crashed, more than once, and he had to get it replaced. So, that put us behind about a week. Then, the duplication company takes about 10-12 business days to make the CD’s -not including all of the time it takes to make sure they’ve got all the right materials to get started (copyright stuff, music, artwork, money). I’ve got 6 of 11 songs. So, hopefully everything will be finished by the end of December or early January.

That is a HUGE prayer request, because, as you know, I have 2 shows at the end of January. I’d like to be able to promote the CD’s at the show. I know that God is going to work everything out. I also know that the enemy will do anything to try and stop God’s plans. But, “greater is He that is in [me] than he that is in the world.” Please continue to pray for the music, the musicians, and all the people God is going to speak to through all of this.

I thank God for you all. In love, Mary

11-16-06

Well, many things have been happening lately that are worth praising God for. So, here I go…

I went on a mountain retreat this past weekend, and I believe that God blessed me with a time of encouragement and freshness in preparation for the days to come (more on that later). I came home and was able to have some pretty good conversation with one of my family members. I am blessed in knowing that God is using me in such an awesome way. But I am also saddened by the fact that not only is Satan attacking me, he is attacking my family. So I ask for prayer in this area of my life.

I also recieved some of the songs from the album with background music. I am very pleased at what I’ve heard so far, and am excited and thankful to be working with such an amazing talent as my friend, Scott Dotta. It has been such an exciting time and such a blessing to hear this project come together as it has.

I also got good news from K-Love christian radio station (out of California). I was pleased to hear that they accept independent artists (which is not the case for most stations). I had almost written the whole radio thing off, when God worked that out! There is a process and criteria to meet, so I ask for prayer in this area, as well.

I sometimes doubt myself when it comes to my music and abilities, but God has really been showing me that He is going to use me in this way, and its exciting and scary. With the release so close, Satan has really been attacking me hard, in every area of my life: I received an email from Scott, and his computer crashed again. It crashed a while back and he got the hard drive replaced and now it has crashed again. I also got news that the company I had planned to do the CD duplication with has a 4-5 week turnaround time, because of the holidays. So, the CD will probably not be out in time for Christmas. Although I was disappointed, I believe God prepared me for that, and I am okay with it. God has really been teaching me a lot about His control, patience, and perseverance.

I’ve also experienced multiple attacks within my family. I won’t go into details, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of these “bad” things happening in my life, right now, are not a coincidence. It makes me even more confident in the fact that God is going to use this album, this music, and even me to do great things in people’s lives! I am so excited about that, and praise Him for his amazing love.

So, I’ve updated you on most of the great things and not-so-great things that have been going on. I’ve left out many of the good things, because there are too many to list. But in conclusion, I ask that anyone who reads this post to pray the following scripture for me…and not just for me; for everyone who will be ministered to by this music; for all the lives that will be touched by His voice. I thank God for you, my friends, my family. Be blessed.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” (Ephesians 6:10-20)

10-27-06

Okay everyone…my website is complete with entry page, music you can hear, a testimony that doesn’t play in chipmunk, fully functional photo albums, and I’m even registered with MSN, Yahoo, and Google Search Engines. There are a few bugs I’m sure. Any comments would be helpful and appreciated.

The last thing on my list is setting the site up for online ordering through PayPal. Phew. That was quite a lot of work.

Oh, and pray about this: www.maryswanson.com is taken, but there is no site hosted there. I’ve requested permission to purchase the domain, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to until 2008.

Check out my site, and keep praying for me! Thanks! Love to all!

10-23-06

I’ve been listening to this song by Derek Webb that is pretty true and pretty convicting about the way we live as Christians. It’s sad that this is the attitude of many Christians, and we are all guilty of this. Read the lyrics and then go listen to this song. It’s on his Mokingbird CD. Then post your comments or how it spoke to your heart.

“A New Law” -Derek Webb

don’t teach me about politics and government
just tell me who to vote for
don’t teach me about truth and beauty
just label my music

don’t teach me how to live like a free man
just give me a new law

i don’t wanna know if the answers aren’t easy
so just bring it down from the mountain to me
i want a new law
i want a new law
just gimme that new law

don’t teach me about moderation and liberty
i prefer a shot of grape juice
don’t teach me about loving my enemies

don’t teach me how to listen to the Spirit
just give me a new law

i don’t wanna know if the answers aren’t easy
so just bring it down from the mountain to me
i want a new law
i want a new law
gimme that new law

’cause what’s the use in trading a law you can never keep for one you can
that cannot get you anything?
do not be afraid
do not be afraid
do not be afraid…

10-5-06

Wow. Can I just praise the Lord for Tuesday night bible studies!? How cool is it that our bible study about the noise in our lives fits right in with what our pastor has been preaching on (hearing, listening, and obeying God’s voice)!? You KNOW that’s the work of the Holy Spirit!

Well, I think I had a “wow” moment tonight. Wow moment = time during the day/week that God just really wow-ed you (per Charleston Outreach 2001). Well, I was driving home from visiting my my parents and my dad’s parents -who are visiting for the week. Earlier that evening, someone hit a nerve, and I had one of those “emotional pop-up windows” -you know the ones -you can’t minimize or close out, you just have to deal with them. It came out of nowhere. Right when I got into my jeep, I started crying.

Anyway, as I began to drive, I realized that I was very angry and bitter over something that happened in my past. I’ve never dealt with it, and I’ve never given it to the Lord. I just tucked it away somewhere, and it rears its ugly head whenever it wants. I’ve never forgiven and I’ve never forgotten. As I thought about it, I became more and more angry and hurt from a wound that never really healed.

Then, I remembered that God wants to speak to me amidst the noise, through the noise of my life. He wants to speak to me in the silence. So, I cleared the “noise” in my head. I heard the Lord tell me to “count it all as joy.” He said that I should surrender it to him and he would give me the “peace that passes all understanding.” I said, “Lord, I’m hurt, and I want justice.” He said “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

So, I did. I counted it joy, and was given peace -almost immediately. If any of you know me, you know that once I start crying the waterworks don’t stop very easily (over-active tear ducts). Seriously though, it was surprising. After I stopped crying, I almost felt invigorated…almost like I’d just been in a battle. Of course! Spiritual warfare! Wow! In the 7 minutes it took me to get home, I had fought with rulers, powers, world forces of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places (Eph. 6:12)! Praise the Lord! He is worthy!

So, that was my “wow moment” of the week. Then again, it’s not over yet. I have another battle to come, and I’m waiting on a word from the Lord. Pray for me to be a good listener, to recognize the voice of the Lord, and to obey Him when He speaks. Thanks for your prayers and support. In Him- Mary Swanson